Admission Deep Dive: Why Teacher Relationships Matter

When I worked as an admissions officer at Washington University in St. Louis, I spent a lot of time helping families make sense of how different parts of the application actually function once the full Common App package makes it way to our virtual desks after the ED/RD deadline.

Grades and test scores feel pretty straightforward to most families, and everyone seems to know the importance of mastering the Common App essay. But recommendations can often feel tricky and anxiety-inducing, so in this article, I want to break down a few common myths I’ve seen when it comes to teacher recommendations and provide some actionable advice for getting recommendations that will help to strengthen your overall package. (Curious about the mysterious counselor recommendation? You can read more in this previous blog!)

Myth 1: Pick the “best writer”

A lot of students assume the strongest recommendation comes from the teacher who writes the nicest or most detailed letters. That’s usually the English teacher who’s known for being expressive or another charismatic teacher that older students describe as “good for recs.”

If you have a great relationship with the “popular teacher,” that’s fantastic! You’re a great candidate for a strong recommendation letter from them. But if you know deep down that you spent all year in English pretending to “take notes” when you know you were doing Calculus problem sets, you need to think long and hard about asking for a recommendation anyway.

The truth is that a strong letter isn’t just about a florid writing style. It’s always how much real classroom interaction the teacher has had with you over time. When a teacher has seen you consistently participate, revise work, respond to feedback, or show up in discussion in a meaningful way, the letter naturally becomes specific. When details, moments, and conversations are missing, even a polished letter tends to feel generic because there’s not enough material to build on.

Another hidden reality is that those strong and popular writers write…a lot of letters, and admissions officers generally read applications for an entire school. When I was reviewing applications for WashU, I could easily tell the difference between the student who “just asked” for a rec from a popular teacher and the person who actually made the most out of the class. So especially if you’re an underclassman thinking ahead about recs…make sure you actually participate, engage, and challenge yourself in class.

And don’t think that a well-written “brag sheet” will erase your teacher’s memories of you goofing off during labs or the fact that you never raised your hand. They can help fill in context, but they can’t replace what a teacher has actually observed in the classroom. So be honest with yourself about how you showed up in class, and choose accordingly.

Myth 2: You HAVE to pick a teacher in your intended major.

There’s also a tendency to treat recommendation selection like it has to match a future academic plan. Historically, many colleges have explicitly asked for recommendations from core subjects, and some colleges still have specific requirements. For example, Princeton suggests that you pick two teachers from different disciplines, and MIT requires a letter from a STEM instructor and a humanities, social science, or language instructor. So first and foremost, it’s crucial to know what the individual schools on your list are asking for.

But keep in mind that colleges aren’t just looking to confirm your interest in your major. They’re looking for evidence of how you think, process, and take in information. How you respond when something is difficult. Whether you engage well with feedback or shrug it off. Whether your in-class participation is consistent or situational. How you contribute to the classroom community around you, not just how you perform on assignments.

So the question isn’t really “which teacher matches my major,” it’s “which teacher actually has enough experience with me to describe how I show up in their class in the best light?”

If you’re choosing between subject alignment and real familiarity, familiarity almost always produces the stronger letter. You can always explain academic interests elsewhere in the application — or better yet, work with your teachers to ensure that they can see the connection between how you show in their class and your major of interest.

Myth 3: Teacher recommendations don’t matter as much as grades and activities.

I hate to break it to you, but grades, test scores, and activities blend together. What doesn’t is character, perspective, personality, and drive — all qualities we ascertain from the letters of recommendation. While in your life, you’re one-of-one, teachers have the unique quality of working with hundreds of students, many of whom are pursuing the same goals as you are. They know just as well as the admissions officers do that there are only so many slots for so many students. They also have been to college before, and know what it takes to succeed and thrive vs. just show up.

And that difference matters because colleges aren’t just building classes of siloed academic achievers. They’re building communities that need to function well. For example, Harvard describes its admissions process as looking for students who will “contribute to the Harvard community.” MIT similarly says it looks for students who are “collaborative” and “curious” learners who engage deeply in their environment. College is about teamwork and developing ideas together and creating lasting connections and bonds. More than ever, colleges want proof that you’re interested in a genuine, open-minded community, and that you’re not someone committed to doing everything on your own.

What To Do Next

If you’re earlier in high school (a current freshman or sophomore), the point of this article isn’t to suggest that you should start to “manage impressions” or “optimize teacher perceptions” (there’s Reddit for that!). It’s to simply help you recognize that how you show up in class over time is what ultimately becomes the material for one of the most important parts of your application. So even when you’re tired, bored, or disinterested, try your best to show up strong.

If you’re approaching senior year, you have a little less room to change your approach. At this point, you don’t have the ability to build a relationship from scratch. You focus is on trying to make sure you’re choosing the best teachers based on your actual experience, and that each teacher has enough memory and context to accurately describe what they have already seen.

That might mean briefly reconnecting them with a project you worked on earlier in the year or giving them a clearer sense of how you continued developing an idea outside of class. It might also simply mean being thoughtful in how you communicate what mattered to you during the course, so they are not reconstructing your year from essays and exams alone. It’s never too late to share a genuine thank you or note of appreciation, so close out the year strong and make the most of your relationships.